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Aug. 8th, 2013 08:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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“ Hello~! This is Sayaka Maizono, and I'm not at the phone right now... but please leave a message and I'll get to you as soon as possible, okay? ❤ ”
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bulletin • letter • in-person
oh jeez, this is just a terrible morning for both of them already D;
Date: 2014-04-07 08:56 am (UTC)Immediately, she pulls aside the blankets and forces herself to get up - though she's still not feeling that great, so it's not the fastest rush to Maizono's side she's ever managed. Tugging at the hem of the nightgown as she slides out of bed, to preserve her modesty as best she can, she cautiously makes her way over.]
Hey... are you okay?
[Suddenly looking mortified, she glances off to the side.]
I didn't... it wasn't that bad, was it?
Pretty much... mornings are teh suck.
Date: 2014-04-07 09:33 am (UTC)[ Maizono finally looks up from the phone, being startled enough to drop it. Natsuru may be able to see the contents of the phone if she manages to get a glimpse of it. ]
Ah... Natsuru-san, you're awake... did you rest well?
[ Blinking and shaking her head, she sighed quietly, giving Natsuru a weak smile of her own in an attempt to reassure her. Which doesn't work as well as one would want to if the user's been up all night. ]
No, no! You... didn't do anything wrong. I promise...
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Date: 2014-04-09 10:04 am (UTC)..... What does she mean "make Nacchan all mine"?! "And no one else's"?!!! Does Junko really...?!]
O-oh... I, uh... good.
[She immediately shifts her full attention back to Maizono, not wanting to think about that text too much. Still... Maizono and Junko fighting over her? Could that really be a thing that's happening?
Cautiously, she takes another step towards Maizono, keeping her voice soft and gentle. Not just because she doesn't want to her any loud noises right now, either.]
I'm fine, I guess. Better than last night.
... Thanks again, by the way...
[Yep, she's blushing again.]
H-how about you? Everything okay? You look...
[Wisely, she doesn't finish that sentence. But it doesn't sound promising, does it?]
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Date: 2014-04-09 10:38 am (UTC)[ Maizono trails off quietly, exchanging furtive glances between both the phone and Natsuru. It wasn't something she wanted to speak about at the moment - not in this state, at least - but honestly, considering that the latter was involved now it would be kind of a dick move for her if she didn't say anything.
... of course, the question of how she was going to say it came up in her mind, especially with how Natsuru could be.
Sighing quietly, she shook her head, burying a hand in her temple as she laughed listlessly. ]
... I couldn't sleep. Things kind of happened...
[ And now she's honestly thinking that she'd gotten herself into something far more than she'd bargained for with that confrontation.
Why she thought it a good idea at the time, she didn't know, but there they both were. Her lips pursed quietly as, after several uncomfortable warring moments with herself, she tentatively held out the phone to Natsuru. ]
It'd be easier to show you than to just tell you.
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Date: 2014-04-10 10:04 am (UTC)She was a little hesitant to look too closely at the conversation before, but now Maizono's pretty much asking her to look. So she hesitantly accepts the phone and starts looking through.
... Wait, 'precious friend'?! They don't spend nearly every night together! What the hell is Junko trying to pull? (Also that part about Maizono making her cuter than Junko ever could brings a slight blush to her cheeks again. It's true, she prefers Maizono's attention to Junko's, but is she really capable of being that cute?)]
Ah... is this really...?
[Another thing she's blushing about is how Maizono talks about her. They haven't talked about it in a while, but... there was that time she said something about having some sort of feelings for her. And Natsuru all but admitted the same.]
I don't want anything to do with Junko-chan, though! Not like...
[Whoops, she's still too hesitant to say it.]
Er... th-that is... there's no way you'll ever lose me to her!
[Wait, isn't that an even more embarrassing thing to say, though?!]
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Date: 2014-04-11 08:21 am (UTC)Maizono looks more or less despondent as Natsuru speaks, but she does a good job of at least letting her speak first before she says anything in response.
And when she does speak up, there's a noticeable change in her tone. Nothing of the sugary sweetness that she usually has, but... very serious. ]
None of us do, Natsuru-san. But she's not going to give up that easily, you know... there's nothing more that Enoshima-san would want other than to drag the whole of this world down with her in despair.
Regardless of whether you want to avoid her or not, it doesn't change the fact that you're involved now. Because of me...
[ She trails off quietly, looking off to the side. It was a choice between two evils, for her - let Natsuru go and be alone, while she was safe, or keep her around and risk Junko doing her worst on the both of them.
Even she wasn't sure what could happen at this point with her around. Especially with how she wa second-guessing herself like this... ]
... what will you do now, Natsuru? Knowing this?
[ The question seems innoculous enough, and yet there's a deeper meaning to it - she's offering Natsuru the chance to walk away while she can. The unasked question.
Do you want to leave? ]
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Date: 2014-04-11 09:28 am (UTC)Acting purely on instinct, Natsuru shifts even closer, lightly touching Maizono's hand with her own. She's a little hesitant to just take her hand all of a sudden, but she'll eventually work her way around to it.]
Hey... it's not your fault! We were already... well, she wanted to be friends when we first met, so... I don't think it's because of you.
[Certainly not just because of her. It's worrying, though. If Junko's really like that, and Natsuru doesn't really believe Maizono would lie about it, then that means she was already targeting her? But then, what's the point of acting so overly friendly?
She's not even close to having any answers there. But she's a little more sure of herself in this moment, with Maizono. Tracing their hands together to interlace their fingers, her heart suddenly begins to race at the realization of their closeness.]
I... I don't know.
[There's a long, uncertain pause before she speaks again.]
Maybe... we can figure something out together?
[The way she's holding Maizono's hand and looking into her eyes... it's obvious she doesn't plan on leaving anytime soon. In fact, it feels an awful lot like that time back in December when they "confessed" to each other, doesn't it?]
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Date: 2014-04-15 10:12 am (UTC)[ Natsuru's intense gaze is doing wonders on Maizono's resolve; it was almost impossible for her to resist when she was being stubborn like that. In a way, it reminded her - perhaps painfully - of Naegi-kun.
Perhaps it was also why she was hesitant to accept that these feelings were her own; they reminded her too much of the person she was willing to betray. Who was to say that she wouldn't do the same now? ]
... do you really believe it'll be that easy? She's stil very cunning, you realize...
[ The way that Natsuru closes the distane between them, even taking her hand in her own and intertwining their fingers, helps her to relax noticeably, which in turns helps her express herself better. ]
I... I'm just worried that you might be getting in over your head here, if you... stay around...
I don't want you to get hurt, just because of me.
[ Her tone makes it obvious that she wants to believe, but... it's evident in her mannerisms and the way she's trying to avoid Natsuru's gaze that she doubts herself more than she does Natsuru. ]
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Date: 2014-04-15 11:20 am (UTC)[Did... did she actually just say that?! It's not even about Junko anymore, she just... refuses to believe that distancing herself from Maizono could possibly be the answer.]
You're... too important to me. Even if Junko-chan tries something...
[She keeps coming so close to actually putting her feelings into words, only to trip herself up. But even if she can't find the words, she'll still do her best to show it. Firmly, but gently, gripping Maizono's hand between her own, she takes a deep breath and continues.]
We promised, remember? To be together forever...
[She starts to blush again at that. She hadn't been the one to say it, but as time went on... it's how she'd begun to feel. Looking back on it now, it definitely feels like more than just a simple friendship promise. But even if that's all it was... it was still a promise.]
So... I'll never leave you, Sayaka-chan. Because I-
[Because she... what? Whatever she was about to say, she's blushing even harder and has actually broken eye contact. Could it really be that embarrassing?]
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Date: 2014-04-17 09:44 am (UTC)[ There's a pause here as she looks at Natsuru incredulously, almost sadly. This wasn't something that she'd wanted to drag Natsuru into by any means, but the fact that she was willing to stay despite her own protests...
Closing her eyes, she finds that her own hand is squeezing Natsuru's back desperately, almost clinging to her as if she'd lose the latter forever if she even thought about letting go. ]
... we did, huh...?
[ Maizono can't help but chuckle wryly at that. Part of her wonders if that was her just teasing Natsuru, hiding her true face, or if she was being sincere with that thought...
One thing she knew, though, is that Natsuru had become far too important a presence in her life to let just walk away like that. ]
Because... you...?
[ Well? Come on, Natsuru, out with it! ]
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Date: 2014-04-18 08:16 pm (UTC)She just... didn't want to be the one to say it first. It's too scary. But then... she isn't saying it first, is she? Maizono confessed to her once, even though they were both under some sort of weird landlord prank effect. And then they talked about how they might possibly still have feelings like that... and wasn't there a text when she was drunk, too?
The way Maizono had squeezed her hand back was like the last boost of courage she needed. Heart racing, butterflies going wild in her stomach, she takes a deep breath and...]
Because... I love you, Sayaka-chan!
[Ah... she said it! Much more confidently than she thought she ever would!]
That's why... I want to always be together. No matter what. Even if Junko-chan tries anything.
[God, she's blushing so hard right now. But once she's built up momentum, it all comes spilling out.]
Even if... I have to spend the rest of my life here as a girl. If I never find a way to change back... as long as you're okay with it...
[That's a sacrifice she was never willing to make for even Sakura Kaede! Though, in Sakura's case, she only wanted Natsuru as a girl. Maizono had made it clear that she didn't care, as long as it was Natsuru. And she's still not giving up on getting back to her 'normal' self. She's just admitting that she can live without it, if she absolutely had to to be with Maizono.]
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Date: 2014-04-30 08:28 am (UTC)[ O-oh, no... her eyes are already starting to water from happiness that Natsuru finally said it! About time, she was worried that she'd have to be the one to outright confess to her...
Even so, despite knowing that Natsuru loved her so it didn't help anything; if anything all it did was weigh her down more because of her own issues about what she'd done. What she'd confesed to Minako about wondering if she even deserved to be happy... the lingering doubts nagged at her, nipping at her well-being. ]
I... I love you too. So much... I can truly say that.
[ She smiles up at her sadly, wiping at her tears. ]
And... I want to help you out, too. Where I can... help you find a way to change back, if at all possible. But... even then, I'd be okay with it. I'm always okay with you, Natsuru-san!
[ Maizono looks away shamefully, wringing her free hand as her other hand grips Natsuru's tighter. It was an uncomfortable scenario that she'd played in her head many times since Junko's arrival, and with her basically goading the other girl into coming after her... ]
... I just hope that you'll be okay with me. You... already know that I'm not nearly as innocent or as cheerful as I make myself out to be. In fact, under the right circumstances I can be downright terrifying. Enoshima-san knows this too well, too... she'd be more than willing to come after you, too, just to get to me.
[ She already got into Maizono's mind once, and it chilled her blood just thinking about it. ]
If she does do something, and I get it into my head that trying to kill someone is the best way to solve the problem... I want you to stop me, okay? Because...
[ Because...? ]
Because I'm scared... what if I start going after other people? What if I went after you? I... don't know if I could forgive myself if I ended up hurting you, or worse...
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Date: 2014-04-30 10:01 am (UTC)She doesn't even realize she was holding her breath until she hears Maizono finally say it back. For real. Not like what happened a few months ago. Letting that breath out, the brightest smile that's ever traced across her lips starts to emerge.
And she knows Maizono has her problems. Her past... Junko... the things she'd attempted to do in the worst of possible circumstances. Concern starts to overlap her smile as Maizono continues... but her faith in the girl she'd fallen in love with doesn't waver for a second.]
I don't believe that'll happen... and you're not terrifying!
[She doesn't mean Maizono can't be terrifying. There's an unspoken acknowledgement of that side of her, but also a denial that she'll ever let herself be pushed to that point again.
Holding Maizono's hand firmly, and moving in closer, she takes a deep breath, and...]
I won't let you do anything like that... and I know you won't, either. But... if someone tries to make you...
[Her heart feels like it's going to burst from how overwhelming the confession and promises and just... everything has been. And now, she's even more determined to protect Maizono, whenever and however she can.
Suddenly, before even Natsuru realizes it, she leans in and wraps her arms around Maizono, holding her tight.]
Hey... we made a promise, right? How about... we promise to protect each other? No matter what...
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Date: 2014-05-07 09:18 am (UTC)Okay, no, that would be a partial lie, but she is crying partly from happiness. If anythin, she's also crying because she's scared of what may happen to them now. She doesn't want anything to happen to them, but...
It also doesn't help that she's more or less antagonized Junko into going after Natsuru now, too; between everything that's happened and her own wavering resolve about what she was going to do regarding Junko, Maizono's more or less burned out emotionally for the moment.
Which is why she lets Natsuru speak for as long as she needs to, sniffling every now and again as she squeezes Natsuru's hand tightly, as if letting go of her would lead to her disappearing for good.
The hug is what truly gets to her, though... before she realizes it she's collapsing into Natsuru's embrace, sobbing quietly. Clinging to her tightly, not wanting to let go of her, all the more so since she feels that she's the only one she can truly be herself around, the ugliness inside of her heart notwithstanding. ]
We... we did... and I mean it, too. I know... I'm not exactly perfect, but... I promise to protect you as best I can, Natsuru...
[ Even if she has to become a twisted killer again just to protect her, she'd willingly do it.
... note that she's also dropped the honorific from her name entirely. ]
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Date: 2014-05-07 07:32 pm (UTC)... So they'll never have that happy sparkly confession out in the bright daylight with sakura petals flying past them in the breeze, after all. But they had that once, and at least now Natsuru knows it's real. And she's determined to be here for Maizono, whatever she needs.
Right now, that seems to mean holding her. Which is exactly what she does, hugging her tightly and letting her cry as much as she needs to.
As bittersweet as the moment is, she can't help but smile faintly when she hears her name spoken without honorifics. Like that time... the confession that could have been. And kind of was, in a way. It turns out they really did love each other after all, didn't it?]
Me too. I promise I'll always do my best to protect you, Sayaka...
[She can feel a warmth in her cheeks as she says it. As far as she's concerned, Maizono's name never sounded more beautiful than in that moment. Breaking down that final barrier they'd put up since the last 'confession'. This time, they won't be going back, though.]
... No matter what.
[Even if she has to protect Maisono from herself... from becoming what she's terrified of becoming again. Nothing's more important to her now than the promises they've made.]